coming up for air

the insanity of enjoying someone
so much that i lose myself in him

one day i come up for air
i wonder, do i give myself over to this?
do i let myself go?

then one day he is out of reach - out of touch

(i think of the night i wanted a bedtime story
it had been a very long day
he read Beowulf - I was asleep in his lap
so sweet - so incredibly sweet)

i struggle to find balance
the joy of being together saturates my life
nothing seems to matter as much as each moment with him -
i am disoriented by it.

(scares me a bit)

like being on a beautiful beach
where the waves are a little too big.
just as i am standing up, the next one knocks me down.
i laugh and keep my head above water and enjoy the adventure of it -
(he does this to me)