vomit in her hair

He told me that his x-girlfriend was an alcoholic. He spent two years trying to save her. Two years of holding back her hair when she vomited. Two years down the drain.

He told me that I can't fix someone. They have to decide they want to change.

I know this, I tell it to other people all the time. I told him that I know it and he accused me of being blind to it in my own fucked up relationship. He asked me why I would even bother with someone who treated me the way that this guy had, why do I think I can change him? Why would I sit around waiting for him to change?

He is right, again. I make excuses for my behavior because. . . well, I am not really sure why. Actually - he told me why. He called me a nurturer and said there is nothing wrong with being that way but there are times when it is misplaced.

How is it that it takes an almost stranger to make me see that I am trying to force change upon someone else? How is it that he completely destroyed this delusion that was consuming me? How does the universe make these things happen? I am amazed.

I am reminded that I can live my life and be happy but that I can not make someone else better or happy, that it comes from within. There are folks out there who think the same thing and I need to spend more time with them.

Overheard something the other night that went sort of like this - 'I'm doing fine, working through some stuff, there are people in my life who want to stop me from being who I want to be and I am not going to let them. . . ."