After eight years of being with one person and thinking of my life within a certain context, I find it challenging to begin again. There are days when I am not sure who I am or what I am doing with my life. It is not that he was my whole world but my life formed itself around that relationship and without it I feel this freedom to be something different. Sometimes it is overwhelming - being faced with the question of what to do and how to be.
Sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by things that are an expression of what I love in life helps me to define this. Art - by others and my own, music, great food, fabulous coffee, my brand new little herb garden, books. . . I can look at these things and know what I enjoy about life.
But sometimes I still feel lost. I went out last night and walked around town, alone. Walking helps the thinking.
Someday I will look back and it will all make sense.